Archive for January 13th, 2010
it’s true,
i could tell you these things.
i could tell you the thoughts that i lock away in my head. i could tell you things that would scare you, that would make you worry constantly, that would make you watch my every move. i could tell you things that would make you be a little more careful with me, that would force you to constantly wonder if i’m okay, that would turn you paranoid because you’ll always know there’s something i’m not saying.
and a part of me wants to tell you these things so i don’t have to deal with them anymore.
but it’s my fault i have this burden, it’s my fault i asked the questions, it’s my fault i kept caring. and even if you did ask all the questions, i’d never pass it onto you.
too many personalities
“yes! i made it through two whole days without tears!”
it scares me that this was a legitimately happy thought in my head. why do i change so drastically when i leave school? why can’t i retain that positive optimistic attitude i have there? i’m afraid that i’m going to have to completely undo myself again when i get there (only 11 days, 12 hours, 13 minutes) but maybe i’ll be able to slip back into my college persona. i so so hope that i can.
